Motivation.

Keeping motivated has never been a problem for me. I have always been a highly motivated person. At this point in time, I am more motivated to do well than I was before. I've realized how important my grades are for my guture, and how much more there is for me to learn. Since this is my first semester of college, it has taken me to this ponit to figure out how to be a sucessful student. I've learned to put my schoolwork ahead of everything, reward myself, and develop healthy study habits.


I've recently discovered what I want to do with my life, and that is what keeps me motivated to do well. I know what I need to do, to get where I want to be. The support from my friends, and my mom also helps me to become motivated. I’ve also been doing other things that require me to be highly motivated, like going to the gym, and being healthier. I’m making myself do what is the most important to my success before I do what I want to do. Although it always isn’t fun, it gives me a good sense of accomplishment.

I hope I keep this motivation throughout the semester, and onto the rest of academic career. I plan on reminding myself why I’m doing what I’m doing, and getting feedback from those around me. Getting into a good college is important to me, and I’m going to try and take whatever steps I can to get there.

2/25/2012

A year a ago, one of my long term goals was to get good grades so I could transfer to CSUF. At this point in time, I am getting all A's and B's in my classes, by making my studies a priority. I've been using the study techniques taught to me in my Read 96, like SQ3R, to make me a more sucessful student. Now that I am studying smarter, I am more orginized and more sucessful. I've gotten into the habit of putting my school work first, and taking pride in what I've accomplished. SQ3R has shown me how to excrete useful knowledge from my text.

Another mid-term goal was to better improve my home life. I have been communicating with my parents more, making my sister feel more included in our home life, and finding a job. I've been applying for jobs and building a resume. I've become completely independent. I would also like to fix the relationship I have with my dad. I would like for him to become a major support system in my life.

A short term goal would be for me to get in better shape. For the last few months I've been neglecting my body, and eating poorly. I've been eating healthier, and going to the gym more. I've also been drinking more water, and taking supplements. I've never felt so good about myself.

My week.

The past week, I have made all of my plans around my school work. I go to class everyday, then come home and finish my homework and study before doing anything else. In my small business management class, I've been using SQ3R to help me better understand my confusing textbook, and help me better retain my information. Although, I have been a little lazy about using SQ3R, it has significantly helped me study and retain information. I had to write a two page paper on different marketing strategies used in companies, as well as a marking strategy for my made up company. I also planned on studying for our vocabulary test, but I did not get the chance to.

This upcoming week and weekend, I plan on spending a lot of time reviewing our vocabulary words for our test. I usually rewrite the vocabulary words and try to recite them from memory. In my business management class, I have to review for our test that is coming up at the end of the week, so I plan to spend a couple days this week reviewing information. I will put SQ3R to better use, and mark all of my text. Besides my obligations at school, I also have to collect some things to send to my sister, which I plan to do when all my work is done.

My Story.

I've always lived a very sheltered life. All through high school I was never allowed anywhere without my mom. I couldn't go to a friend's house, the mall, or even the movies without my mom there. I grew up completely envious of my friend's who could go to my friend's birthday parties or to the beach. I wasn't allowed to go to a school dance or a football game. At one point, my dad found out I had kissed a boy when I was sixteen and grounded me for a month. I despised my parents.

There came a point where I was sick of it, and I'd just leave. I couldn't stand just going to school and back home everyday. I needed some space, some time alone. I felt really lame telling my friends that I never did anything, so I began to make up stories. Then, I started to just leave. When I'd just leave, my mom would punish me further, by taking my cell phone, or not letting me on the internet, which made me feel even more trapped.

Time progressed, wounds healed, and my parents divorced. Since my parents were too preoccupied with their own life's to manage me, I began to have more freedom. But still, I had watched all my friend's have these experiences that I never got to have. Then, my little sister hit puberty. She had so much more freedom then I did. She could do anything, go anywhere. I'm still jealous to this day. About a year ago my sister got involved with the wrong crowd. She would go to their house and do drugs. Within a few short months she was expelled from two schools and had no friends. She stopped being my sister and became this compulsive liar. There was a time when I hardly recognized her. She would legitimately scare me at times. My parents decided to send her to an all girl's boarding school in Montana.

I feel responsible for this. I feel that I should have done something to prevent all of this from happening. I should have been able to show her that you don't have to pretend to be something you aren't to impress people. I then realized this is why my mom was so hard on me. She didn't want me to end up on the same path as my sister. With all of this going on with my sister, my mom and I became really close. We both realized that we've made mistakes, and began to work together to do whatever it took to help her.

I can't believe it took my sister's drug problem's to bring my mother and I closer than we have ever been. The only direction we can go is up.

The Things I Carry

I seem to carry the same things on me everyday. I carry the vital things I need to get me through daily life. I carry my cell phone, to keep me connected to the rest of the world, and I carry the keys to my car, to get me where I need to be going. I always carry my ID, in both a tangible and intangible sense. I carry both the good and bad memories from my past, and the consequences of my actions. I carry the blame from my dad for my parent’s divorce, and the guilt of not helping my sister choose the right path to go on. I carry the image of her face in my head, and the obnoxious shreak of her voice that I’ve grown to know and love. I carry hope that she’ll one day look up to me, so I can help guide her on a better path, and help her become a better person.

I always seem to have a book in my hands, but no real grasp on everyday life. I carry a sense of wonder and imagination, that hasn’t been altered since I was a child. I carry stories from books, my experiences, movies, and stories I’ve made up on my own. I seem to always have a crazy, made up scenario for the day that makes me seem exceptionally cool, or cleaver, or unique. I also carry much insecurity. I seem to worry too much that I’m not smart enough, or funny enough, or interesting enough. I carry a fear of failure, especially in a new setting, that makes me want to go home and hide in my room for the next twenty or thirty years. I carry curiosity for the things around me. I’m on a quest for knowledge, both inside and outside of school. I’m constantly observing, reading, and writing.

I carry the same mind set as my mom, along side an untouchable bond. She’s a beautiful, successful woman, that I only hope I can be one day. We carry many inside jokes such as our morning ‘Bagel Time’, and the love for the band, 30 Seconds to Mars. We also carry the same memories. We carry the memory of my dad, and the details of their divorce. We also carry the details of my sister’s ‘coping’ with my parents divorce, and her falling into the wrong crowd.